Forever After (Elizabeth)

Tomorrow is never coming.
Our lives are never ending and
The world is always turning.
The sun is always setting and
The night is never ending
Your car is ever shrinking and
The silence just keeps going.
Our hands are always meeting and
Your car is ever running
Our knees just keep on brushing and
Our feet are disappearing
This song is everlasting but
Our love is a train wreck-always crashing.

Your words are just like arrows-
Ever piercing, ever scarring
My heart is like a target-
Always painted, never winning
We fit together like a broken glass-
Always glued, never sticking
My tears are like the beat
Always hurting, always falling.

I don’t know why we do this
Know I’ll never understand
Why I ripped my beating heart out
And I placed it in your hand
And as you slowly squeezed it harder-
Harder, until it popped
I swear I never really thought it hurt-
Never felt the pain-
Until you stopped.













Once upon a time…
I was supposed to live happily ever after. I met my Prince, fell in Love at First Sight, and my hair was perfect. So what went wrong? Right from the Once Upon a Time I knew it was meant to be. I knew that it was perfect-we were perfect.
So where’s my Happily Ever After?

Dead. On a road. In the Middle-of-Nowhere, Ohio. Bloodied and flattened.

Roadkill.

That’s where my freaking Happy Ending is. It got hit by a car a decade ago. I never had a shot at saving it-it was out of my hands before I even knew it was in them. It’s no one’s fault. But, God, do I wish I had someone to blame.



Elizabeth was full of hope. She knew it was silly, knew that hope only lets you down harder, but she was hopeful, nonetheless. The convention was going well. It was a little dull, but then that was practically a tradition. While English teachers all think that they themselves are very interesting people, they rarely think their colleagues are anything remarkable. And all good English teachers can give a stirring lecture about the importance of correct grammar, spelling and MLA format, no one really wants to listen to such lectures.
Despite a permeating mood of resignation to mediocrity and slight boredom, Elizabeth remained optimistic. Of course, her optimism didn’t spring from nowhere, though. She had met someone. A tall, handsome, funny, modest, charming, too-good-to-be-true someone. A someone who, from first sight (as silly as it sounds) she thought she could be with forever. A someone she thought she could Love. If she didn’t already.
Miraculously, Alaric (for that was the someone’s name, Alaric) seemed to think she, boring Elizabeth Cunningham, High School English teacher, was someone, too. And even though they had only known each other for six days, it felt like it had been forever.
As always, Elizabeth was (painfully) aware of the chance that he would realize that they really weren’t good for each other-that he would suddenly come to his senses, give her a strange look, and walk away.

It had happened before.

But still, she remained-obnoxiously, even to herself- hopeful. As she put on the dress she had bought (rather foolishly, it wasn’t really something she could afford) just for tonight, carefully applied her make-up and arranged her hair, her heart was swollen with all of the hoping and singing that was going on. She sang “Wonderful Tonight” to herself, and felt foolish, but couldn’t get the hopeful smile off of her face.
Honesty wasn’t something she found often. Her high school students were rarely honest, which was understandable, they looked out for themselves first and foremost, so lying came naturally. Her parents, while essentially good people, had been together for all the wrong reasons, had lied to themselves and each other when they got married, and kept lying when they found out about Elizabeth, lying that she was a good thing, that she could strengthen a marriage made of lies and held together by frayed nerves. They divorced early in her childhood. Her mother had never really wanted kids, Elizabeth was just another lie she had told her husband, and when they got their divorce she didn’t even pretend to fight for custody. So Elizabeth grew up with her father, a good-natured man who would rather spend time with his plants than with people. Her mother sent her money on her birthdays until she turned 18, but was only a shadowy memory punctuated but the sharp stops of high-heels on slightly creaky wood floors and the smell of expensive perfume-impressions so alien to her father’s quiet nursery that Elizabeth knew there was no one but her mother who could have made them.
In Alaric she had found honesty. He had told her about the tragedy of his young-adulthood- losing his twin sister to a drunk driver and the emotional scars left behind right from the start. She knew that because of this event, so hard for anyone to handle, let alone a seventeen-year-old boy made it hard for him to put himself out there, made it hard for him to love. He had a shy, hesitant smile that seemed to come right from his soul, and his blue eyes sparkled when he saw the humor in something. He had told her that he was an English teacher from a small town in Ohio, not so very far from where she had grown up, and that he, like her, had grown up to realize that the small town living that had once strangled him now embraced him, that there were worse things than never leaving home. To her it seemed that he was the most genuine person she had ever met, that compared to Alaric everyone else might as well have been wearing masks and costumes and speaking from a script. His mix of sincerity and a strange, strong vulnerability was shattering.
Elizabeth floated down the stairs to dinner. For the second-to-last night of the convention they were holding a formal dinner with dancing, a tradition Elizabeth had never appreciated until this year, this moment. On the schedule it was always marked as a “ball.” When she received the schedule in the mail originally, back in her quiet little town, Elizabeth had laughed at the use of the antiquated term like she did every year prior. But here, now, it seemed perfect. She felt like Cinderella-so why shouldn’t she be attending a ball?
She alighted at the bottom of the stairs and there he was, her Prince Charming. He smiled in relief when he saw her, and came to meet her.

“thunk goes the head
thudsuck goes the knife
as you insure she’s dead
and forgive your wife.”

A girl walked resolutely along the side of the road, her head bowed, her footsteps measured. Were someone to look in her eyes they would see a sort of desperate calm, an intense concentration hovering on the edge of complete breakdown. Her badly dyed, spotted hair was almost too short, revealing her painfully thin, pointed pale face to the elements. If that someone to listen very intently, they might be able to catch a glimpse of her thoughts, so loud were they inside her head. The hills are turning purple in the distance, the sun is going down. I wonder why he can’t stand me, why he throws me around? I wish there was something left for me, I wish I didn’t have to leave. Someday, maybe you’ll understand, someday maybe you’ll see what I see…This dirge played over and over in her head, and as it became too loud for her to take, so loud that the cacophony obscured even her vision, her eyes filled with words and thoughts and colors, and finally the chemicals in her brain exploded in a burst of light. Simultaneously, she swerved, losing her focus and stumbling toward the middle of the road, careening out of control.
Headlights appeared at the crest of the hill and became a streak of light against the fading sky. A screech, a thump, a crash. Then, silence for one second, two.
The car veered away from the crime scene, leaving a crumpled bag of bones behind, while the boy driving turned his wide, young doe eyes to the road ahead, panicking quietly.
Later, he told people he hit a deer.




Today is never over and
Tomorrow is never coming
Our lives are never ending and
The sun is always setting
The stars are always shooting and
The wishes just keep coming
Our hands are always meeting and
Your car is ever running
This song is everlasting but
Our love is a train wreck-always crashing.

Your words are just like arrows-
Ever piercing, ever scarring
My heart is like a target-
Always painted, never winning
We fit together like a broken glass-
Always glued, never sticking
My tears are like the beat
Always hurting, always falling.

I don’t know why we do this
Know I’ll never understand
Why I ripped my beating heart out
And I placed it in your hand
And as you slowly squeezed it harder-
Harder, until it popped
I swear I never really thought it hurt-
Never felt the pain-
Until you stopped.




This one time I knew a girl
Knew that she was meant to live
She was born at midnight, screaming loud
Because I pushed my way out ahead

This girl was never happy
Could never understand
Why some girls had moms and dads
That watched out for them-held their hands

As the days kept growing longer
Her face grew longer, too
Until I didn’t know her anymore,
Didn’t have a clue.

I told myself she was irresponsible,
Negligent, unsure
I thought she was smart, I thought I knew
Thought she had finally found a cure

Then one day she started walking
She walked away from me
Before she left-she did no talking
Left no note that I could see

That girl-she’s all gone now
And she’s never coming back
I don’t know why she left here
All I know is that I ignored the only chance she had

Sometimes late at night
While I sit alone-beer in hand
She whispers in my ear
Tries to help me understand

But though I try really hard to listen
I know I haven’t got a chance
I’m too stuck in my own problems-
There’s no way I could even begin






Hey, you, don’t forget we have a date
Starts at seven, don’t be late
Put on a dress, shine up your shoes
Get ready for a roller coaster-
You’ve got more than just your dinner to lose

I bet you weren’t expecting
These twists and turns right from the start
But since when did you ever give me a chance?
Since when did you ever think about my feelings?
For sure not when you ripped out my heart.

You should have known you had it coming
Known that I could never let this go
Now’s your chance to start running
3,2,1…red, red, green…
pause.
And go!

Because running away is what you’re best at
Yeah, it’s just what you do
I’m not sure what gave me the idea
That stupid idea
You know, the one that I could hold onto you?

The music’s playing louder
The band’s not ready to leave
Everybody here is dancing
Everybody except you and me
I can see in your eyes that you’re anywhere
Anywhere but here
Anywhere but with me

Because running away is what you’re best at
Yeah, it’s just what you do
So I’m just really not sure what gave me the idea
That stupid, inane idea
You know which one I’m talking about?
The one that let me think that I could hold onto you








Sometimes I wish I could hate you
Because you’re the reason I always fail
But I can’t-can’t do that to you
Because it’s my fault-not yours
That I’m locked up here in jail
Or really, maybe it’s just limbo
I really, really don’t know
All I know is that I’m stuck
And I’m sorry that you’re stuck, too
Stuck as my scapegoat

It’s like running in quicksand
Like running underwater
Like I’m stuck in a nightmare
And I can’t get away from the monster
It’s like running on a treadmill
Or riding a stationary bike
Maybe, if I keep going harder,
I’ll get somewhere this time.

Can you help me? can you save me?
Can somebody give me a hand?
Because I’m slipping
Now I’m falling
And because of you-I never had a chance

The interrogation lights are burning brighter
And now I’m starting to perspire
The detective is looming closer-
The best that money could acquire
I don’t have the answers to your questions
Even though I committed this crime
With your eyes you see right through me
Can you tell me what I’m hiding inside?

Can you help me? Can you save me?
Can somebody give me a hand?
Because I’ve slipped
And now I’m falling-plummeting-
To the ground
And all because of you-I never had a chance
Never had a chance to grab somebody’s hand







Rockabye, Rockabye
Baby sister of mine
Go to sleep, close your eyes
I’ll make everything just fine
The monsters can’t get you here
Of that I’ve made quite certain
Now close your eyes and go to sleep-
I’ll just turn my back for a second-
Less!
I just need to close the curtains

And when I turn around
Please say that you won’t be gone
Even though I should have seen it coming
Knew you were leaving all along.

Rockabye, Goodbye
Baby sister of mine
Go to sleep, close your eyes
I can’t make it all right this time
You gave your self up to the monsters
And the evil, screaming demons
The ones that hollered in your ear-
“You’re unsure-you’re a bad person!”
and no amount of begging
and no amount of pleading
could have saved you from your monsters
I guess I always knew that you were leaving.